


and yet the dream won't die

by theseerasures



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Love Potion/Spell, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22398235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theseerasures/pseuds/theseerasures
Summary: “People don’t decide spontaneously that they’re in love without even seeing the other person,” Anna said, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose.Anna has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, and as usual it's kind of Grand Pabbie's fault.
Relationships: Anna & Elsa (Disney), Anna/Kristoff (Disney)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 100





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Counterpunch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Counterpunch/gifts).



> Betaed by the inimitable ProfessorSpork. Technically a spiritual successor to "[when i'm queen (and i'm your right hand)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22724797)" in the same way that Godzilla is technically a spiritual successor to a gecko.
> 
> While the content of this fic is REMARKABLY tame (tamer than the source material, in fact), a love spell is its primary conceit, so broader questions of consent do apply.
> 
> Now with author's commentary in second chapter! Please view as Entire Work to get endnotes to work.

[1]As usual, they heard the town before they saw it. Ryder grinned; it’s only been a few weeks since the Forest opened up, and he still couldn’t get over the lovely sound of bustling crowds.

He looked over to Elsa, who smiled at the look on his face.[2] “Excited?” she asked.

“Absolutely,” he replied, “I think I might hit the docks this time. Maybe I’ll try getting on a ship! And so much happened with the reindeer herd that I can’t wait to tell—”

“Kristoff?” Honeymaren asked, butting her head in and looking unbearably smug.

Ryder scowled at her, which just made her smirk even wider.

“There he is now,” Elsa interjected before he could formulate a proper reply.[3]

He thought he heard Honeymaren snicker into her hands as his head whipped back around, but whatever—it _was_ Kristoff, running out of the gates to greet them. And why wouldn’t he? They’re awesome.

“Elsa!” Kristoff was calling. He’s charging full speed forward, arms already open for a hug. “Elsa!”

Elsa dismounted the Nokk, looking flattered but a little confused. “Kristoff! Good to see you?”

It wasn’t until Kristoff was almost within arm’s reach that Ryder thought, _huh, doesn’t he usually come out with Sven_ —

Then he stopped thinking, because at that point Kristoff grabbed Elsa, picked her up, and kissed her.[4]

Like, right on the mouth.

Something bright flashed around them. When Ryder opened his eyes again Elsa still hadn’t pushed Kristoff away, or pinned him to the nearest tree with icicles.

They were still kissing.

Next to him Honeymaren was pinching the inside of her wrist emphatically. She opened her mouth, letting a horrible half-shriek, half-gag escape.

Ryder himself was still too transfixed to do anything more than stare. Wow. They were really…

Well, it’s not like _he_ had much experience with kissing, so maybe he shouldn’t judge. But Kristoff had kissed Anna in front of him before, and that had been…fine. Kinda cute. He wasn’t sure how to describe Kristoff and Elsa kissing, except that it wasn’t cute and reminded him of two headbutting salmon.

Honeymaren grabbed his arm hard enough to draw blood. “What is _happening?_ ” She demanded in a shrill whisper.

He shrugged, still unable to take his eyes off of the wreckage in front of them. “Maybe it’s. A cultural thing?”

“I don’t think—”

“ _Kristoff!_ ”

They looked up in unison to see Anna charging through the town square. She’s on Sven’s back, going at a full gallop; it’d look very cool, if it weren’t for the fact that her fancy queen dress was covered in mud. “Stop them!” she hollered.

Ryder and Honeymaren stared at her, then at each other.

Kristoff and Elsa didn’t even look up, but he did pull her into a dip. Elsa giggled in a way that Ryder sincerely hoped he would never hear from her again, and then they went back to kissing each other.

* * *

“It’s magic,” Anna explained to Ryder and Honeymaren, “I mean, obviously. Elsa doesn’t even like men.”

“I figured,” Honeymaren replied. “I mean, not about—I mean. Elsa was fine until Kristoff kissed her. What happened on your end?”

“I…have no idea,” Anna admitted. “One minute we were going through the mail together, the next he was standing on top of my desk with his lute, proclaiming his love and asking me what words rhyme with ice.”

“Nice!”[5] Ryder suggested immediately. Anna shot him an exasperated look. “Uh, sorry.”

“Something better than ‘nice,’” Kristoff requested, glowering at them all. “And can you let go of me, please? I can walk by myself.”

“No way, mister.” Anna replied instantly. They’re in the process of frog-marching Kristoff and Elsa back to the castle—Anna’s in the middle, a barrier between the two so nothing weird and gross would happen.

Nothing _more_ weird and more gross.

“Okay, I have an idea,” Ryder announced, still looking a little sheepish, “It’s some kind of love related magic, right? What if we can fix it with…I don’t know, a true love’s kiss?”

“Do _you_ wanna take that chance after what happened to Elsa?”

“I guess not,” Ryder said, deflating.

“And that never works anyway,” Anna continued, “I know from experience.”

Honeymaren opened her mouth, like she wanted to ask for more details, but Anna looked away. She had to re-adjust her grip again. This whole physical escorting thing had seemed great in the moment right after they pried Kristoff and Elsa apart, but now she’s having some second thoughts. The whole town was getting an eyeful, and the fact that the currently-sane people in their group outnumbered the insane ones didn’t really matter much when Anna _knew_ Kristoff could pick them all up and juggle them if he wanted, and Elsa could…

Anna bit her lip as she looked at her sister. Elsa didn’t _look_ like she was going to snap her fingers and freeze them all in place, but she hadn’t looked like she was going to hang off of Kristoff like a barnacle, either. Anna wondered absently if she should get some gloves, just for however long this stupid episode was going to last.

Then she very presently felt like the worst person in the world. Elsa wasn’t to blame for any of this. Heck, she wasn’t doing anything—not even mouthing off, like Kristoff. She just looked a little flushed, but that could just as much be from the embarrassment as from the…

Ugh.

Besides, what were the gloves supposed to do? They weren’t a solution to anything. They certainly wouldn’t stop Elsa from running away from her. Again. With Kristoff in tow this time.

“The trolls will be here any second,” she said out loud, “They’ll be able to tell us what’s wrong.”

“ _Nothing’s_ wrong!” Kristoff insisted. “People fall in love. It happens. Right, Elsa?”

“Right,” Elsa replied, and then clamped her mouth shut again like she hadn’t meant to say anything.[6]

“People don’t decide spontaneously that they’re in love without even seeing the other person,” Anna said, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose.

“I’ve seen Elsa before![7] We’ve known each other for three years.”

“I think she means that Elsa wasn’t in the room when you, um,” Ryder winced. “…fell in love with her.”

“Whatever,” Kristoff said, rolling his eyes. “Pabbie’ll sort this out. He’s a love expert.” Then his expression brightened suspiciously. “Elsa, d’you think he’d marry us when he gets here?”

“No one is getting married!” Anna snapped as they finally made it inside the castle. They dumped Kristoff and Elsa onto a bench in the main hall, whereupon Kristoff immediately scooted over and put his arm around Elsa, who…didn’t protest or try to move away.

She was actually leaning into it a little. Anna slapped her forehead with her hand.

“Elsa,” Honeymaren tried, “You know about magic. You have to know something’s wrong.”

Elsa cleared her throat. “It does seem…sudden,” she offered.

“Yes!” Anna agreed with great enthusiasm. “Yes it does!”

“But sometimes that’s how it works, right?” Elsa’s eyes flickered over to Kristoff, a dreamy expression crossing her face, “If it’s true love?”[8]

“Elsa—” Anna said, and then gave up. Why even bother at this point? They were already gearing up for _marriage._ Kristoff was probably already planning to move into the Forest, and Sven would obviously go with him. Would Olaf want to stay in Arendelle? Probably not, if Elsa and Kristoff were both in the Forest.

Ryder and Honeymaren would go with them too. They could all get together and start their own, separate treehouse club family.

Anna clapped her hand to her forehead again; maybe the world would make more sense if she were concussed.

Thankfully, the ground rumbled in that moment and Pabbie rolled through the doors with his entourage. “My child,” he greeted Anna with characteristic gravity, “You called for me? Sven seemed to think it was urgent.”[9]

“Pabbie, thank goodness,” Anna sighed in relief. “Please tell me what’s wrong with my sister and fiancé—something’s wrong with them, right?”

“Hmm,” he intoned, turning in their direction and closing his eyes in concentration. “I can sense a magical interference—”

“Ha!” Anna crowed. Then she remembered Kristoff and Elsa were too busy doing their own thing to even notice her.[10]

“—but its source seems…elusive.” Pabbie continued. He gave Anna a significant look. “Anna.”

“I’m here. How do we fix it?”

“Magic of this sort is generally driven by emotion,” Pabbie explained. Then he looked hesitant. “Given your close ties to Elsa and Kristoff, and the fact that your sister is a powerful sorceress…we must consider the possibility that _you_ may have unintentionally caused this change.”

“Wait, what?” Anna blinked. “Wait, me?”

“There have been many changes in Arendelle recently. With emotions running high, it’s natural to question one’s own place in relation to her loved ones, and it’s possible that some of this unease or fear..."[11]

“But that’s _crazy_ ,” Anna said. Maybe Pabbie was losing his touch on being the guy who explained magic stuff. Was there a second opinion she could get? “I’m not magic. Not literal magic. And—and! I’m not the only one with loved ones here! Right, Honeymaren?”

“Um,” Honeymaren said, looking a little taken aback, “Yeah, I guess I technically love Ryder.”[12]

“Ryder loves Kristoff!” Anna said, changing tack at the speed of light. “He could have done this. They live in an _Enchanted_ Forest.”

“Aw, man,” Kristoff said suddenly over Ryder’s undignified squawking. He smiled at Ryder. “Really? I love you too.”

“ _What?_ ” Anna demanded as Ryder stammered out a thank you, “You still love Ryder?”[13]

Kristoff looked bemusedly at her. “Yeah, of course. It hasn’t been long, but he’s like a brother to me.”

There’s a little pause as everyone let that little factoid sink in. Then Ryder made a sound like someone let all the air out of a balloon.

“Well, I’m definitely convinced that something’s wrong,” Honeymaren said, patting him on the back in a vaguely consoling manner. “But I don’t think it’s from our end. This all started with Kristoff, remember?”

“What, so that means I did this to him because I don’t trust him? Because I think he’s gonna leave too?”

Her voice cracked weirdly at the last words, and everyone was staring at her again. “Come on, guys,” she tried again, “Obviously I’m not worried that Kristoff would—fall in love with my sister.[14] That’s not scary, it’s just…crazy. So what could possibly make my powers—which I don’t have—make _that_ happen?”

“That may be a question only you can answer,” Pabbie replied, after a pause that started to verge into the awkward, “I would suggest self-reflection; only after searching within will you be able to resolve the magic.”

Then he left.

“Great,” Anna said, “Just perfect.”

At least no one asked him to marry them.

“Anna?”

Kristoff and Elsa had gotten up. They both looked—nervous. And determined.

There was no way this was going anywhere good. “What’s up?”

Elsa took a deep breath, looked over at Kristoff, who—ugh—gave her an encouraging nod. “I know we’re putting a lot on you,” she said.

“You have no idea.”

“And I want you to know that it’s okay to be upset—or even angry, because you have feelings for him too—”

A maniacal laugh escaped Anna’s lips. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Honeymaren and Ryder shoot her a worried look.

“But Anna,” Elsa continued, “I want you to know how I feel. And how I feel when I’m with Kristoff—this is real. When we look at each other, we just…”

She looked into Kristoff’s eyes again, and Kristoff looked back, and then Anna heard the sound of violins and flutes in the distance.

“Oh,” she muttered into her palms as Kristoff and Elsa began to sing, “This isn’t happening.”

* * *

“The Nokk says it’s in,” Anna informed Honeymaren, joining her on the banks of the fjord. “Well, it snorted at me, but in a nice way. I think.”

“Ryder’s doing his part now,” Honeymaren replied. Then she hesitated. “I don’t know, Anna. Are you sure we’re not going overboard with this? They haven’t really done anything besides give each other gifts and try to sing duets.”

She didn’t _like_ that any of this was happening, mind. It’d be funnier if whatever magic had made Kristoff and Elsa head-over-heels for each other also turned them into totally different people, but they were still acting _just_ recognizably them. All of their little presents for each other were just iterations of “x, but the ice version,” and they couldn’t actually finish any of their duets, because they both always tried to sing the lower harmony.[15] Elsa was doing everything Honeymaren could imagine her doing if she were actually in love, but the wrongness of her acting this way toward Kristoff of all people was…well, it was just wrong.

Not that she thought there’d be a _right_ person for Elsa to fall in love with before all this, because—never mind.[16]

“It’s a surer bet than letting them run wild,” Anna said wearily, “I can’t exactly concentrate on fixing this when they’re hijinks-ing all over town. And I—”

Her face fell suddenly. “I didn’t want to just lock her in her room.”

Honeymaren gave the other woman a sidelong look, biting her lip. For some reason she never felt completely comfortable around Anna, and she’s pretty sure it wasn’t _all_ because of the weird, boggle-eyed look that Anna always wore whenever she saw Honeymaren in the same place as Elsa. Elsa was a wagon of mixed signals and quirks to adjust to on her own—what with how easy she was to startle, her habit of being cryptic and spacing out, and her tendency to casually drop tidbits about her childhood that seemed utterly horrifying without context—but Anna was…

Anna was all of that, dressed up in a constant, almost neurotic need to look on the bright side.

She was probably just being needlessly judgmental. Still: Honeymaren had always thought that she and Ryder would easily clinch the position of “weirdest siblings” if they ever emerged into the real world, but now they had, and Elsa and Anna were blowing them out of the water.[17]

Her brother chose that moment to jog up to them. “She’s on her way,” he told them, a strained expression on his face, “It was a real chore separating them, but honestly, the sooner we pull this off, the better—I just had to promise Kristoff that I’d help him set up another Northuldra reindeer proposal.”

Anna groaned. “Good g—”

Then she stopped talking to stare at her arm, and then at Honeymaren, who had suddenly grabbed it.

“Sorry,” Honeymaren said, dropping it again immediately, “It’s just, ah—your forehead is really red already.”[18]

Anna opened her mouth to reply, but then they all heard it: a warning trill in the breeze.

“Here she comes!” Ryder hissed, diving into the bushes. Honeymaren quickly began acting nonchalant, while Anna started trying to whistle.

“Honeymaren? Anna?” Elsa stopped a few paces away from them, then crossed her arms. “Ryder told me to meet you over here, but this doesn’t look like an emergency.”

“Oh, it definitely is,” Anna said quickly. “Just like a big, huge, explosion level—right, Honeymaren?”

Honeymaren nodded. “A reindeer wandered too close to town and got hurt. See the tracks?”

“Huh,” Elsa said, moving closer toward the fjord now. One step. Two. “I don’t see—”

Then Anna shoved her into the water. “Now!” she shouted.

Elsa’s head bobbed up a few seconds later. Then rest of her rose up, carried by the Nokk as it sped in the direction of the Forest. “Anna, what—Anna!”

“Sorry!” Anna called to her sister’s furious retreating form.

“She’ll forgive me,” she added to Honeymaren, wringing her hands. “Right?”

“Um,” Honeymaren replied. She shot Ryder a _help me_ look as he untangled himself from the bush. “Probably? Eventually.”

“Definitely!” Ryder agreed. “It’s gonna be fine.”

“Right,” Anna said, sucking in a deep breath. Then she smiled. “Right! Besides, what’s she gonna do? Plunge _both_ our kingdoms in eternal winter?”

Honeymaren laughed.

Then she stopped laughing. “Wait, what?”

* * *

“I don’t know, Joan,” Anna mused, “I guess I have been feeling kind of third-wheel-ish lately.”

Things were quieter now. They’d managed to trap Kristoff in the stables with Sven and Olaf’s help, and then Ryder and Honeymaren both went back to the Forest, too—just on the off chance that Elsa _did_ freeze everything around her. So finally Anna had some time to. Y’know. Reflect and all that stuff Pabbie told her about. Think about what she’s done.

Anna rolled her eyes. Like she’s a teenager being sent to her room.[19]

“Third-wheeley?” She wondered aloud. “Yeah, that sounds better. Third-wheeley.”

She shifted a little on the couch; it wasn’t as comfortable as she remembered it being from…well. “Isn’t that ridiculous, though? The gates are wide open. There are people everywhere all the time. And I’m Queen now. I couldn’t be overlooked if I tried. I can _make_ everyone hang out with me if I want—I can write it into law! If I want.”

“Which I don’t,” she added hastily to Joan, “Because that would be crazy.[20] But…Kristoff hangs out with Ryder a lot now, and Elsa and Honeymaren are always doing…whatever it is they’re doing. And even when we do spend time together I feel like I’m missing out on stuff? Or just half a step behind, somehow. Maybe Pabbie is right and this is some kind of horrible, embarrassing manifestation of my negative feelings?”

“I still think it just sounds so silly,” she continued, “I mean, Elsa and I have both died, and that was definitely more negative! Why would I make this happen? Oh, yeah, Anna’s mysterious powers that don’t exist, let’s make your sister and your fiancé fall in _loooove_ and humiliate themselves and only want to talk to each other and have no reason to talk to you and move in with each other in their shiny magic forest with their shiny new friends and...”

Her dress itched all of a sudden, like Gerda starched it too much. “It’s weird. It’s _weird_. If you told me a few weeks ago that soon Elsa and Kristoff would be out there making friends—well, one friend—each—from the same family—I would have been over the moon! But now they actually have, and I…I…”

Anna peeked up at Joan’s stern, righteous face. It felt shameful to admit it, even here, alone. “I don’t know if I like the open gates if they’re just gonna leave me behind.”

“It’s selfish, is what it is,” she said, getting up to pace now and feeling furious with herself, “I bet Kristoff and Elsa dealt with this all the time when we used to hang out, and _they_ never had a crisis big enough to warp reality over it! Why does this bother me so much? Do I just need to be at the center of attention all the time or something?[21] Why aren’t I—”

She wheeled back around. “Why aren’t I better, Joan?” she demanded. “All the stuff that’s happened over the past three years, it changed _them_. Why didn’t that happen to me? Why am I the same desperate lonely person I always was? What’s wrong with me?”

There’s no answer. Joan was, as always, silent.

It had never bothered Anna before. Before, it was just another thing in the castle that never spoke back. It had never been something she could even imagine being upset over, until now—now that she didn’t have to imagine how people could surround her, love her.[22]

Anna sighed.

“What am I even doing?” She asked the empty room. She felt old, all of a sudden—too old for this wallowing alone. If this was her doing, then she needed to fix it. She couldn’t do that in this room, by herself. She needed to talk to people. She needed to talk to _Kristoff,_ for a start.

“Next right thing,” she decided. “Right, Joan?”

She opened the door and ran right into Olaf. “Oh, hey Anna!” he said brightly, sidling into the room. “I was just looking for you!”

“Why?” Her stomach prickled with unease. “Olaf, did you leave Sven alone with Kristoff?”

“Nope!” he replied, “Sven’s helping me look for you. I think he went to the kitchens. Anyway, Kristoff wanted me to tell you—”

“ _Kristoff_ wanted you to tell me? Who’s with Kristoff right now?”

“It’s not nice to interrupt people,” Olaf said, frowning slightly, “And no one! That’s why I came over here. Kristoff said he’s all better now, and he’s gonna go to the Forest to help make Elsa normal too, and I should help Sven unstick his antlers and then tell you.”

“Unstick—how did Sven get his antlers stuck? What happened?”

“Oh, that’s a funny story,” Olaf answered, “See, Kristoff—"[23]

He’s interrupted by loud, frantic braying as Sven barreled down the hall, almost skidding past their room but managing to turn himself at the last second. Anna backed quickly away from the doorway to avoid getting trampled as he charged in, barking and grunting.

“I got it,” Anna sighed, burying her face in her hands. “Kristoff ran away, didn’t he?”

Then Kai entered the room too, in a—well, Kai was too stately to run, but Anna had never seen him walk so fast, either. “Your Majesty,” he began.

“I already know about Kristoff, Kai,” Anna said. “Sven and I are gonna—”

“Ah,” Kai interrupted, his face pinching inward, “No, Your Majesty. I am here to announce the arrival of…ahem…”

But he didn’t need to keep going after that, because the doors opened yet again and finished his announcement for him. Anna swallowed hard, taking in the tall slim figure, the dark red hair, and the long sideburns.

“Hello, Anna,” greeted Hans, “Did you miss me?”

* * *

“I heard something about a missing person as I was walking in,” Hans commented. He made a casual circuit around the room, before draping himself over the couch across from Anna and smirking. “Trouble in paradise?”

Anna aimed her toothiest smile at him. “Hans! Is your hairline receding already?”

Her heart was pounding, but she felt…less afraid than she thought she’d be overall. Hans was a lot shorter than he looked in her worst dreams, and there was a disgusting little thing on his upper lip now, like he’d been trying and failing to grow a mustache.[24]

Still wearing the same clothes, but they, too, looked like they’d seen far better days.

Hans’ lip curled, which just made the little coppery worm above it look more pathetic. “You must be wondering why I’ve returned. Well, let me assure you—I didn’t do so idly.”

“Do you think they have razors in the Southern Isles, Sven?” Olaf asked in a loud whisper.

Hans’ eyes bulged slightly, but otherwise he gave no indication that he heard. “Has anything…gone awry within the castle recently, Anna?”

“No,” Anna answered quickly.

Maybe a little too quick, if Hans’ sneer was anything to go by. “No?” he asked, leaning forward, “Your beloved sister hasn’t fallen in _love_ with someone unlikely in the past few hours, has she?”

Her stomach dropped as Sven let out a distressed moan. “How do you know about that?”

Hans sprawled back again. “How would you feel if you learned that _I_ have been the culprit to all of your recent misfortunes?”

“I’d be pretty relieved,” Anna said, without thinking.[25]

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” she amended hastily. What could possibly… “You were about to tell me your diabolical plans.”

Hans glared suspiciously at her for a moment, but then his ego apparently won out. “Just so. After the setback three years ago—”

“Oh, you mean that time I rescued Anna after you left her to freeze to death?” Olaf asked, still the picture of innocence, “Or when she knocked you flat when you tried to kill Elsa? Or when she punched you off a ship after that? Or when—”

“ _Yes_ ,” Hans grounded out through his teeth, “I remember. I remember and I _learned_. I learned, while you were resting on your laurels—”

Anna snorted without meaning to. _Resting_. Right.

“While you were taking the sanctity of your kingdom for granted,” Hans proclaimed, louder now, “I was studying ways to subvert your weapons. If love and magic could save you, why, then—I would take those powers for my own.”

He paused, like he was listening for an invisible audience, collectively holding their breath.

“…Go on,” Anna prompted after a few seconds.

“It really was very simple,” he told her, “I’d heard about your little romance with the mountain man, but Elsa remained brazenly isolated, and that was where all the power lay. All it took was some light magical manipulation, and the queen became putty in my hands.”

“Um,” Anna said, “Okay. But how? I don’t feel very putty-like.”

“Well, of course _you_ don’t,” Hans snapped, apparently frustrated by her lack of awe, “But you’re not the queen, are you?”

“I am, though,” Anna pointed out.

“What?”

“Do you think they have newspapers in the Southern Isles, Sven?” she heard Olaf ask.

“I’m the queen,” Anna repeated, “You didn’t hear Kai call me ‘Your Majesty’ just now?”

“I—oh, yes,” he smirked again. “Your very…noble ruse to comfort the masses. Very clever, Anna—but I’m sure you can see the futility of the pretense.”

“I…guess I can’t,” Anna said, genuinely lost now, “You’re probably just gonna have to explain it to me real slow, Hans.”

“Fine. Like I said, it wasn’t hard in the end—I simply had to hire a potion master of some repute to infuse some chocolates with a little something, deliver it to Elsa—"

“What, to the Forest?” Ryder and Honeymaren would have mentioned if Elsa had started acting weird after eating chocolate. “How did you even find her? It’s not like she has a mailbox.”

“No, to the _castle_ ,” Hans corrected, frowning again, “What forest?”

“You know what? Never mind.” At least that confirmed that _all_ of his information was out of date. Anna’s mind raced back to earlier today: right. The mail. Kristoff must have just decided to help himself to the treats in Elsa’s package, poor guy. Still… “Uh. Not that I don’t already know, because obviously your plan worked perfectly and definitely on the right person and all that, but what was supposed to happen to Elsa, exactly? She was supposed to fall in love with, um. Her…self…?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Hans scoffed, “The object of her obsession would be _me_ , of course.”

“Right, right.” So the potion hadn’t worked according to plan, either. Privately, Anna wondered where exactly Hans found his _potion master of some repute_. Some crazy witch in a random cabin in the woods, more like.

“Yes,” Hans breathed, fully caught up in his delusions now, “And so I’ve returned, Anna, to take her hand in marriage. I can finally take the throne as intended—as King Hans, of Arendelle!”

It was probably a good thing that the wall behind him exploded right then, because Anna wouldn’t have been able to stifle her laughter otherwise.

Two figures emerged from the new entrance to the gallery.

“Hans,” Elsa said softly, stepping forward.

“Elsa!” Hans exclaimed. He tossed Anna another superior look before opening his arms. “My lo—”

Then a giant icy hand came out of nowhere and pinned him to the opposite wall.

When she was done cheering, Anna noticed Kristoff bending over her, checking for injuries. “You okay? Kai sent a note into the Forest through Gale, and Elsa grabbed me on her way back.”

“Yeah, I’m fine!” Anna replied, brushing some plaster off her dress. “You guys came back for me?”

Kristoff exchanged a look with Elsa. “Of course we did,” Elsa answered. “We love you, Anna.”

Anna beamed at them. Then she noticed that they’d started holding hands with each other again, which ruined the moment enough for her to want to look somewhere else. “I can’t _believe_ you,” she seethed at Hans, marching towards him as Kristoff began congratulating Elsa on her giant ice hand's intricate design.

He looked utterly dumbfounded. Being slammed bodily into a wall probably didn’t help. “What—”

“No, you know what? You don’t get credit for any of this,” Anna declared, “You’re just an insignificant speck! I can’t believe I let any of this get to me. I can’t believe I let a stupid love potion—which didn’t even _work right_ , by the way—wreak this much havoc on my life, when guess what? My family loves me! Even when they’re being addled stupid by some—”

“Hey, we’re not stupid,” Kristoff said, stopping his gushing soliloquy to protest, “I know it’s really sudden, but Anna, that’s how it works when it’s true lo—”

“Oh, for the love of Pete,” Anna said, a billion percent done with all this. She grabbed Kristoff by his collar, and pulled him down for a kiss.[26]

Something flashed behind her eyelids, and her first thought was: _oh, no. It didn’t work. Am_ I _in love with Elsa now, too? Because that’d be a whole ‘nother level of weird._

Her second thought was: _Hey, if I still think that being in love with my sister is weird, then maybe—_

Her third thought was: _Wow, we’re really kissing. We’re still doing it_.

They really were. When she pulled back, Kristoff was looking adoringly at her, and there was a familiar soft crinkle around his eyes.

Then all color drained from his face. “Anna,” he said, “What’s—”

Behind them, Elsa threw up noisily over the carpet.

* * *

Anna knocked. “It’s me,” she called through the door. “I brought tea and goodies.”

A faint groan was her only answer, but that’s good enough; she went inside into the family room.

Okay, the good news: the kiss worked! Elsa and Kristoff stopped with the lingering loving glances at each other.

The bad news: apparently you didn’t get over getting hit by a love spell all at once, so both of them were suffering from what Anna could only think of as magical hangovers. Hence the groaning, and the throwing up earlier.

Or maybe it was all good news, Anna reconsidered as she set the tea tray down and prodded the lump of blankets on the couch that was currently hiding her sister. Elsa usually drank her under the table and got to look all superior the next day. “It’s chamomile. Gerda said it might help?”

Another groan, but a few seconds later Elsa poked her head out and shuffled into a vaguely upright position. She took the cup, but gave the treats the stink-eye. “Please tell me there’s no chocolate.”

“Nope!” Anna promised. She’d eaten all the chocolate off the tray already. Y’know, to protect her sister.

Elsa only took a few sips before wincing and setting the cup down again. “Hans?” she asked, massaging her temples.

“Stuffed in the brig of the least seaworthy ship at dock.”

“Good,” Elsa muttered. “I hope he pukes himself to death.”

“It’d serve him right,” Anna agreed, “Let’s hope his family puts him on a tighter leash this time. Still, at least he’s out of our hair for—”

Another knock at the door interrupted them. “Anna?,” Kristoff said, walking unsteadily into the room. “I thought I heard your voice…”

Then he saw Elsa and blanched. “Eugh. I mean—”

“I’ll let you two talk,” Elsa said at the same time, straightening up and promptly turning a delicate tinge of green.

Anna grabbed both of them by the hand before either could try to escape. “Nuh uh. C’mon, guys—we’re gonna have to talk about this at some point.”

“Yeah, but why does it have to be now?” Kristoff whined, but he let himself be dragged down onto the couch anyway. “My head feels like someone lodged a pickaxe into it.”

“ _My_ head still won’t even let me sit all the way up without exploding,” Elsa complained back, “I don’t even know how you walked over here.”

“It took a few tries, believe me.”

“There’s tea,” Anna interjected helpfully, pouring him a cup too, “And pastries. Nothing with chocolate in it.”

“Thank goodness,” Kristoff said, accepting the tea and even taking a scone off the tray.

After a few minutes of silent sipping, Elsa sighed. “I’ve never been more humiliated in my life.”

“ _You_?” Kristoff asked, “I’m the one who still lives here. Sven’s never gonna let me hear the end of this.”

“Serves you right for stealing my chocolate.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Kristoff replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “You’re right, this would have turned out perfectly if we’d actually sent the chocolates to you. I’m sure Yelana would have loved watching you sing sappy love duets with your own reflection.”

“Hey, they weren’t all that sappy,” Anna said, “I thought ‘his eyes were as gold as a falcon’s plumage’ was…uh…okay. It was horrible.[27]But come on! Everything could have been a lot worse.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Elsa said. Then she shuddered. “The potion could have _worked_.”

“Yeah, but even then it would have backfired,” Kristoff pointed out, “You’re not queen anymore. Can you imagine Hans trying to live in the woods with you? He doesn’t exactly strike me as the roughing it type.”

“Hans cleaning up after reindeer,” Anna suggested, giggling at the mental image.

Elsa poked at both of them with her feet. “I would have been in _love_ with him, you dopes.”

“We’d have figured out it was magic,” Kristoff replied. Then he winked at Anna. “Then we’d just get Honeymaren to kiss you. Easy.”

“ _What?_ ” Elsa screeched, so shrilly Anna saw the china vibrate. She and Kristoff both grimaced in pain.

“To undo the spell,” Anna replied, picking up with he was putting down, “You know. True love? It probably would have worked just as well as me kissing Kristoff.”

Elsa sputtered, and didn’t stop. Anna grinned, letting it—and Kristoff’s teasing answers—just wash over her for a bit. It’s nice. Moments like this—they felt more and more like precious commodities these days.

She thought about Joan, and the gallery room, right before Hans showed up again. She _was_ relieved. It was good that this wasn’t her fault, but…some of the things she’d said out loud, those were real.[28]

Was it bad to want her loved ones in the same place, all to herself? Or was it just—was she allowed?

Anna looked down. Elsa’s hand was still in hers. She’d been absently playing with it this whole time. It was a habit she’d picked up in the early days, right after the Thaw, to stop Elsa from curling inward and away, or digging her fingers into her arms hard enough to bruise. She didn’t know when it became something for her own benefit.

Maybe it always was.[29]

“Fine,” Elsa was saying when she zoned back in again, “I’ll admit that this whole terrible misadventure was not the worst thing we’ve been through. Even if everything _had_ worked perfectly for Hans, we probably would have been fine.”

“We showed him,” Kristoff agreed, “He can’t get to us anymore.”

It’d be so easy to nod along. To laugh the whole thing off, dance around the issue for at least a few more weeks, while she figured out what was good and bad to say, what was good and bad to feel.

But she didn’t want to think about this on her own anymore. Better to just speak it into being, and let her loved ones help her figure it out: if she was selfish or desperate or lonely or better or worse, or some combination of all of them.

She had this, still.[30]

Anna took a deep breath. “He got to me.”

Kristoff and Elsa were exchanging concerned looks; she didn’t need to look up to know the exact contours of both their faces right now.

Then Kristoff put his arm around her shoulders. “I think I remember you saying something about that,” he said quietly, “In the gallery.”

“It wasn’t him,” Anna tried to explain, “Not really. You’re probably right about him—he’s not worth thinking about. But before he…watching the two of you…ever since we came back from the Forest…”

She closed her eyes, slumping into Kristoff’s hold, and tried to marshal her thoughts into something coherent.

The room was silent. But it wasn’t like the silences from her childhood, stretching into everywhere, backwards and forwards in time. It didn’t come from suffocating fear. It just came from waiting, and being.

They were waiting for her.[31]

“Things have been moving so fast,” Anna said at last, opening her eyes. “And I’m—I’m _so_ happy for both of you. For the new places you’ve found for yourselves, and the new people, but I guess I’m…” A self-deprecating laugh escaped before she could stop it. “I guess I’m having a little trouble. And I don’t want you to put your life on hold just because I’m—I miss this, that’s all. I miss us. Isn’t that crazy? You haven’t even gone anywhere, not really.”

“You’re not crazy,” Kristoff said firmly. “I miss this, too.”

Elsa squeezed her hand. “We’re here right now,” she told Anna, “And I think I’ll stay a little longer. Might as well milk this magical hangover while it lasts, you know?”

“Elsa, you don’t have to—”

“Nope, she’s staying,” Kristoff announced, “For at least a week. I’m gonna be here, too. We’re just gonna be bedridden, and super bored—”

“—left to fend for ourselves,” Elsa agreed, her eyes twinkling, “You simply _must_ make time for us, Your Majesty—”

“You _guys_ ,” Anna burst out.[32]

“We’re not going anywhere,” Kristoff told her, “You’re stuck with us.”

Her eyes were suddenly swimming with tears, but even through that blurry veil Anna could make out their matching grins. She took another deep, fortifying breath, and smiled back at them. “I guess I can live with that.”


	2. Endnotes

1Title taken from "True Love," from the Broadway musical. Unlike with a lot of my other fics the title for this one was pretty much set from the very beginning. I'd briefly considered using a line from "Oceans" by The Format before I went to see the musical and listened to the cast album, but then I did and...yeah, the title couldn't have NOT been taken from "True Love" after that point. The song ended up shaping a lot of what this fic became: if "with me guiding what i do" was an updated remixed "Monster," then this fic is the same for "True Love," only I was, y'know, doing it on purpose this time--taking the original's complex, ambivalent-yet-finally-hopeful approach to "the dream" and seeing what that might look like in a post-sequel world.[return to text]

2So why use past tense? Obviously it was just to drive Leah and my other regular readers up the wall. Nah: the first draft of this first section was actually written in my usual present tense, but the more I thought about the scenes that came later the more I realized that all of the narration in my head was in past. I think it jives better with the underlying idea of past-ness that I explore in this fic. Past tense for me tends to connote more traditional narratives: the kind Anna thought she was living in the first movie, or the kind Elsa and Kristoff think they're living in now, thanks to love spell delusion. I wanted to create the sense that Anna was trapped in the grand, sweeping romantic tale that she so desperately wanted before, but only on the outside looking in. So is she irritated because she's so over that kind of dream now? Or is she upset because she still wants some version of it?[return to text]

3This was my first time writing Ryder and second time writing Honeymaren, so I devoted a LOT of time even before I started just thinking about who they could be as people, in relation to each other. It was very important that they had discrete personalities in...well, every fic I write featuring them, but this fic in particular. I didn't want them to be what Kristoff essentially was in bodyswap--basically this therapist-cum-camera-on-legs, only there to straight-man-react to shenanigans--even though they didn't out to be key players. That they ARE these distinct, real people is kind of the entire point: Honeymaren and Ryder have their own thing, and now Honeymaren and Elsa have their thing, and Ryder and Kristoff THEIR thing, and Anna's not connected to any of that. I cycled through a few Twin Relationships (most prominently Jacen and Jaina, and Vax and Vex) as templates before landing on the dynamic in the fic. So they're effortlessly argumentative in the way a lot of siblings close in age are, but they're not often overtly verbal about it, because when I think back to moments in the sequel that demonstrate their dynamic (such as it is) the two that come most to mind--Ryder instinctively hiding behind Honeymaren when Olaf makes himself known, and Honeymaren shoving Ryder with her shoulder after the Forest is freed--don't have words to them. (There was also a practical consideration: if they used their words more this fic would be even LONGER, and full of argumentative noise that distracts from the main story.) They're also effortlessly, wordlessly, a Unit, even when they're arguing, and I think it's the confluence of the two that makes them so unsettling yet appealing to Anna, Kristoff, and Elsa, who have only just started tentatively dipping their toes into the whole "together-when-apart" thing. Elsa in particular is so wary of ANY conflict between siblings being the Real and Final one that she wears herself out these first few weeks in the Forest trying to get the two of them to stop "fighting"; that's why I have her interject here. I don't think at their core they're LESS codependent than Anna and Elsa are, because being trapped in a murderous forest for their whole lives isn't exactly conducive to having healthy boundaries, but they're very differently so.[return to text]

4What with this fic being a sequel to bodyswap, it had to be crack, and crack-with-feelings. I knew pretty much as soon as Rachel sent me the prompt that I didn't want to do 2Body2Swap; the final twist at the end of the original fic was intended to be just that--a parting shot to let the reader's imagination run wild--and I couldn't really think of any way to approach it that would be interesting to me on a thematic level. When looking for alternatives I knew I wanted, for fairness reasons, that Kristoff be involved in the shenanigans this time, and that the entire fic be about Anna. Leah and I bounced around several options, most of which were just _Steven Universe Future_ episodes. I think I first hit on "love spell" when trying to fall asleep that night, which checked both of my requirements and more. That Kristoff would be love-spelled for ELSA followed pretty naturally from that, since the alternatives--Kristoff-Ryder or Kristoff-Honeymaren--couldn't strike the same balance of absurdity and genuine pathos. (For the record, the runner-up idea was "Elsa finds two other Elsas on a different planet, tries and fails not to beat them up to make them better people," which I...may revisit at some point.)[return to text]

5Obviously making Ryder and Honeymaren characters in their own right meant more than just figuring out how they would talk to each other. I also spent a good amount of time thinking about what kind of flaws they might have as people, and tried to gesture towards that kind of dimensionality in the fic. This wasn't too difficult with Ryder; I just had to put a little more pressure on the excitable helpfulness we saw in the movie. Ryder, I think, gets swept up very easily in the schemes and affairs of others. Part of it stems from his very commendable determination to see positive opportunities in new places and people, but another sizable part of it, in my interpretation at least, stems from his desperate desire to please everyone around him. He's a weird balance between Anna's anxious extroversion and Elsa's aversion to conflict. He loves being around people, but also never wants to hurt or offend them, so he ends up going along with whatever, even if that whatever ends up hurting him. There's NO WAY that all of this wouldn't be horribly exacerbated now that the whole world has opened up to him and he's fallen for a guy who just proposed to his royal girlfriend of three years, but...well. Another fic. What a funny line, am I right guys?[return to text]

6Since we never go into Kristoff or Elsa's head in this fic how exactly the love potion works is left kind of vague. My idea as I was writing it was that it didn't ERASE any knowledge or feelings--the later sections wouldn't have worked if it had--so much as just made everything that wasn't the Love (and especially anything that would conflict with it) seem increasingly inconsequential. It happens quickly, but not all at once, so that you don't really notice as it shoves all the existing furniture in your brain aside to make room for the new hotness and rewires things so that every thought or emotion inevitably returns to the same person. Elsa here, for example, still gets to be embarrassed about having feelings.[return to text]

7Anna remains my favorite character in this franchise to write dialogue for, but Kristoff's been giving her a run for her money recently. I have a LOT of fun having him grumpily or earnestly say incredibly stupid things, and this line held first place in "Dumb Things I Make Kristoff Say" for a good...ten or so days before it was unseated.[return to text]

8This whole conversation calls back to the argument at the coronation ball, but again: the potion didn't replace Elsa's personality with a new one, just lowered her inhibitions a little. I really think the potion just transplanted some of Elsa's already burgeoning questions and neuroses re: Honeymaren onto Kristoff. She still has enough hangups about romantic love that she phrases "true love" as a question instead of as fact, and she's still looking to Anna for answers and validation.[return to text]

9Am I implying here that the Trolls understand Reindeer or that Sven had to act out what happened to them? Both. The Trolls can understand Reindeer, but it's the Shyriiwook thing where they can't speak it, so Sven has no idea that they can understand him, and acted the whole thing out.[return to text]

10Not that she'd be upset about that happening in general or anything! She's just annoyed specifically here because it's Weird and Gross, but not in any other circumstances! Credit for a lot of this scaffolding toward Anna's emotional arc goes to Leah. In the earlier drafts for this section Anna mostly reacted to Kristoff and Elsa being in Luuuuurve with peeved resignation--more like a beleaguered babysitter than anything else--but Leah rightly pointed out as she was beta reading that Anna's conversation to Joan in the gallery room would feel a lot less out-of-nowhere if her anxieties about being left behind manifested more in the earlier parts. I was a little worried that putting those anxieties in would make the section feel more overwrought when it's supposed to be comedic, but having these little punchy moments here where she unconsciously catastrophizes before snapping back to the absurdity at hand ended up helping both the drama and the comedy.[return to text]

11Another section that I had to carefully rework after Leah's feedback. I think initially I took my regular readership for granted a little too much: OF COURSE they know I'd never let Pabbie be trustworthy or helpful or even correct, OF COURSE I'd never really give Anna powers, so let's just skip to the part where it turns out that he was wrong and she doesn't. But it's important that the CHARACTERS buy it in this scene, or else Anna would never (however half-heartedly) try to do any soul-searching. I still think the moment goes juuuuuuust a little too fast in this published version, but it's at least fairly clear about what Pabbie's theory actually is.[return to text]

12Also known as The Joke that Built This Entire Section. It popped into my head one day, and pretty much everything that comes before it (up to and including Pabbie being an Anna-Has-Powers-Truther) was first written to make it land properly. I was still tweaking the lead-up to it right before I hit post.[return to text]

13I devoted some time and brain-space trying to explain What's Going on with Ryder and Kristoff (mostly just that they were dating with Anna's explicit consent, basically a "this is my fiance Kristoff and this is Kristoff's boyfriend Ryder" thing) in text, but almost none of it ended up in this published version because it wasn't really relevant. I wanted the subtext to be there, though, or else "You still love Ryder" wouldn't work. I see this moment as like, the last precipitating red flag before she pretty much skywrites "I HAVE ABANDONMENT ISSUES" a few paragraphs down. If Kristoff still loves Ryder, then it's not an issue of "Kristoff loves Elsa now" anymore, but an issue of "Kristoff doesn't love ME." The former is bizarre enough to coat her anxiety in a veneer of disbelief, but the latter, in Anna's mind, is entirely possible.[return to text]

14The em dash is supposed to cloak a last second clause switch here--originally, she wanted to say "leave and never come back," but she didn't, because that IS scary, and she's not sure if she can believably lie and say that it's not when everyone's already looking at her Like That. At the time I couldn't figure out a more overt way to suggest the thinking-speaking dissonance here, but now it seems clear that I could have just broken up the dialogue differently. Oh well.[return to text]

15Another entry in "Jokes That Popped into My Mind before the Section Was Written," though this one was much easier to crowbar in. Even love potions can't make up for the fact that Elsa and Kristoff are so used to doing things with Anna they can't function when it's just themselves (in duets as in all things). Most of "Kristoff and Elsa's Torrid Tame and Uncool Romance" was sadly relegated offscreen, but what I pictured was mostly that Season 4 episode of _Buffy_ where Willow accidentally casts a love spell on Buffy and Spike, only they're shy and socially awkward on top of being utterly incompatible.[return to text]

16The What's Going on with Honeymaren and Elsa ended up being much easier to figure out, because it's...virtually nothing. It's only been a few weeks; long enough to build off of the "hey, we feel strangely comfortable hanging out" vibe they had in the movie, long enough for other people around them to catch on and for both of them to feel slightly squirrelly about it BECAUSE other people are catching on and are incapable of keeping their mouths shut for even one single second (well, Ryder is, but only because the first time he mentioned it Honeymaren tackled him to the ground and sat on him), but...nothing beyond that. "I guess I technically love Ryder" was a misdirection, but not really a conscious one, because I don't think Honeymaren consciously thought about her feelings for Elsa as "love" until...well. Now.[return to text]

17Giving Honeymaren a distinct personality with implied flaws was a lot more difficult than doing the same for her brother, mostly because we saw so little of her in the movie. I knew from the outset that I wouldn't be satisfied with just having her be the competent, normal one; even if I believed that competent normal people exist in this franchise I still would think making the indigenous woman in this nascent friend group fill the role of the generic straight man would be the laziest thing I could do. But I think the competent normal thing could be a good outward mask for her--something that she'd even believe about herself. She is assertive and practical, and fairly perceptive, but as I tried to show in this section, a lot of that manifests in a cautious, conservative approach when it comes to people. She's perfectly willing to be polite and pleasant, but unless you're in a VERY select group of people she won't do anything more than that. Here, she LIKES Anna just fine, and can tell that Anna's upset, but she's got enough on her own plate--why risk putting herself out there? Honeymaren's a weird balance between Elsa's guarded introversion and Anna's occasional "fuck you got mine" tendencies. In contrast (and in response) to Ryder's openness, she tends to be much warier about people, and more cynical about their intention. And she's right a lot, but sometimes it's BECAUSE she'd always rather be right than be vulnerable. There's NO WAY that all of this wouldn't be horribly exacerbated now that a whole world full of people she's determined to think the worst of has opened up to her and she's having all these gross, optimistic feelings for Elsa, who recently won Greatest Number of Mixed Signals Per Capita for the 24th year in a row, but...well. Another another fic.[return to text]

18This was another moment that I had already sketched out even before I started writing, because I thought it was very important to show that, despite Ryder's doormat tendencies and Honeymaren's "judgmental outsider" routine and all of Anna's many, MANY hangups and the fact that they've only known each other for a month, tops...they're already kind of in sync. For all of the emotional torque of this fic nothing REALLY bad happens, and that's partly because Kristoff and Elsa are still decent loving people even when they're complete and total loons, but it's also because Anna and Ryder and Honeymaren work pretty well together, even though none of them realize it in the moment. It's not that Ryder and Honeymaren are like, Anna's B Team, or that Anna's renting her best friends' best friends; they belong to each other, too.[return to text]

19I hemmed and hawed over these lines when I first wrote them. Was Anna rolling her eyes LIKE a teenager who's being sent to her room? Or was she rolling her eyes at the IDEA that she was being sent to her room like she's still a teen? Then I was like "You know what? It's both. It's Deep now."[return to text]

20It was a conscious decision to liberally sprinkle this fic with the word "crazy," which I feel is a very loaded word for Anna in particular. I think she associates it most with Hans, so its presence serves as thematic foreshadowing in that regard, but Kristoff also calls her that in his first proposal attempt in the sequel--way to blithely stomp ALL over your girlfriend's trauma button, dickhead--so it was very important that he affirms she isn't crazy at the very end of the fic. But the most prominent use of the word in my mind is when it gets associated with dreaming in "For the First Time in Forever": "And I know it's totally crazy/To dream I'd find romance." For Anna, it's always been Crazy to Dream--unlikely, invalid, etc--and she's continued to do it anyway, and this fic is all about her continuing attempts to negotiate that with the changing world around her.[return to text]

21So even though I didn't end up making it a direct plot reference, this scene (and the whole fic it anchors) owes a lot to the "Little Graduation/Prickly Pair" two-parter from _Steven Universe Future_. Anna and Steven are at comparable places in their stories: they both have staked a lot--too much--of their identity on being "the person who helps other people with their problems without expecting anything in return," and now that their hard work has all paid off...they feel bereft, and they desperately don't want to look inward at the mess they've been neglecting. I don't know how all that is going to culminate for Steven, but it felt right that for Anna it should culminate here: in the room where she spent most of her life, demanding answers when there aren't any outside of herself, yelling at things that can't fight back, all the while hating herself for all of it, for not being able to put away her childishness so she can finally act like a grown-up.[return to text]

22I did briefly consider writing this scene with Joan having a voice imagined by Anna, but in the end it just didn't feel organic. Because I don't think it ever occurred to Anna to give any of the paintings voices; friends they might have been to her, but they weren't Sven. They weren't alive, they didn't move, there was no warmth to them if you reached out. And she always knew that, and was fine with it, until now. I think it must curdle her stomach a little bit, to realize that in a way she's weaker than she had been three years ago--that happiness really has made her soft, so that even the things she never paid attention to before now make her hurt.[return to text]

23It's a HILARIOUS story. See, Kristoff--*door slams, sound of car driving off*[return to text]

24The Hans twist was planned from pretty much the very beginning, as soon as I sketched out Anna's emotional arc for the story. Anna's deepest fear is that she can no longer keep pace with her loved ones, that she's still so stuck in the past and childish dreams and everyone will eventually leave her for that reason, and then in walks Hans, still the person Anna hates and fears more than anyone else, and he's...just pathetic. He's so stuck in the past that he's still working on the EXACT same goal as three years ago, is so blind to changing times that he's working on outdated information at every turn, and is so nostalgic for his fleeting moment of triumph that he can't stop himself from gloating to Anna all over again, even though that's what ruined him before. Hans hasn't changed a bit, and it feels like poetic justice to have guy who once knocked her down to her lowest point show up again as a joke, to show that Anna HAS changed. She's plumbed darker depths and climbed brighter heights in the time he spent plotting and deluding himself that he was still the center of her world. She's outgrown him.[return to text]

25It took until Leah was beta reading for me to realize that this scene is essentially "Bluebird" from _Steven Universe Future_. I didn't want this fic to start out funny and then ramp so hard into drama that all sense of comedy is forgotten by the end, so Hans' appearance (once again in stark contrast to how he worked in the first movie) is designed to release the pressure valve a little, for readers and for Anna. Because Anna's never had trouble standing up against outside evil and injustice; it's only when there's nothing to fight and she's confronted with the possibility that there might not BE one right answer because reality is often just arbitrarily arranged meaninglessness that she really starts doubting herself. That's why the reveal is such a relief, because now there is someone unequivocally bad to fight. Now the problem is clear, and the problem isn't her, so she can finally get started on finding a solution.[return to text]

26But I didn't want to just let Anna off the hook, either. Her arc in this fic isn't "Anna needs to realize how much she's changed," and it isn't "Anna needs to realize her constancy is good and empowering," it's "Anna needs to trust herself and the people who love her even in the face of necessary, inevitable change." That's why the conflict of this fic is resolved not with her punching Hans in the face again (tho she did in an earlier draft, just for funsies), or even with another sword sacrifice, but with a kiss--a kiss that she before had been so adamant WOULDN'T work (because of what happened with Hans, because she never stops worrying that her love won't be enough) that she didn't even want to try. She had to take a risk, because Anna at her best ISN'T actually when there's an obvious solution to a problem, or an obvious enemy to sass, and she's just an arm of the Cosmic Moral Machine. It's when everything looks hopeless, and she doesn't know she'll get her sister back if she blocks a sword/wrecks a dam, and nobody knows what the right answer is, except...she knows. She knows what the answer is, because the answer is always to do what's right, and to love her family. And she does it every time, NOT because that's what worked before, but because it's just who she is. It's not about staying the same or becoming completely different; it's about growing yourself into something new without foreclosing the past. The dream takes time and work and pain, but the dream won't die. Trusting that it won't is part of what sustains it.[return to text]

27The greatest tragedy of Hans' potion not working as intended is that Elsa didn't get to literally sing "his eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad."[return to text]

28And here's essentially why I find crack so appealing to write. It's fun to put characters through absurd situations, but the situations are always incidental. We never know where Elsa found the bodyswapping spell (in a big ol' book of Plot Contrivance), or who Hans got to make his potion (a Witch of Plot Contrivance, on loan from Dun Broch). What matters most for me in these crack scenarios is how they dramatically expose the wishes and fears that were already there. Elsa's always wished that her powers would go away, and now they have; Anna's always feared that Elsa and Kristoff might abandon her, and now they LITERALLY have no reason to talk to her ever again (she thinks). But because the scenarios are just incidental, what matters isn't actually how they get resolved (Hans only shows up AFTER the emotional high point of this story), but what characters decide to take from it. The plot stakes are never as high as the character stakes in these fics. Anna isn't blurting out her fears because it's the only way to break the love spell. Plot-wise, she has no reason to talk about her fears at all; plot-wise, no one even heard her talk about her fears with Joan; plot-wise, she should be flush with triumph after defeating the bad guy (THE bad guy for her, no less) and proving definitively that she's better than he ever will be. But being better than Hans isn't the point. The only person Anna needs to outgrow is herself, and to do that, she HAS to face up to her own fears, with the only risk or reward being her relationship with the two people she loves most.[return to text]

29So is it bad to need to be needed? Immediately after the sequel came out I saw a lot of Discourse about how deeply imbalanced the sisterly relationship seemed to be in the movie--that Anna was constantly checking in with Elsa and taking care of her while Elsa seemed to ignore Anna's needs at every turn. And there's some truth to that, but I don't think reading Anna's hyper-protective instincts as coming from a place of pure altruism is fair to either sister. Part of why I miss "I Seek the Truth" in the actual movie is becaise it very plainly lays out Anna's motivations: "You'll stay found." "I won't let you go." She's not just protecting Elsa for Elsa--she's protecting Elsa to make Elsa STAY PUT, because she's terrified that Elsa will leave. And that shouldn't be on Elsa to fix when Anna herself won't even acknowledge what's going on. Elsa's not a mind-reader, and the only person who can be responsible for Anna's internal turmoil is Anna.[return to text]

30But at the same time--and here I deviate from _The Good Place_ ethos--I do think that at a certain point your intentions don't really matter. Anna holding Elsa's hand for her own benefit doesn't mean that she WASN'T also stopping Elsa from hurting herself. The flaws in Anna's motivations shouldn't detract from the fact that she, more than anyone else, was the person who turned this castle back into a home, turned this collection of wounded people into a family. She built this good, loving thing, and she should get to reap its benefits. She should finally get to let her guard down, and let herself be. Kristoff and Elsa can't fix this for her, but they can help her work this out together.[return to text]

31This moment felt very important to include. Anna's perception of silence is still filtered through the abject loneliness of her childhood, when literally no one was talking, but by the time of the sequel I think it's complicated by a fear of not knowing the RIGHT thing to say immediately, because a mistake or a pause means she doesn't Get something, that she's a step behind, that the conversation will move on without her, that PEOPLE will move on without her. That she takes the time here to really think about what to say, in a conversation about her own needs, underlines her decision to trust that even if she is having trouble--even if she needs a little more time--Kristoff and Elsa will wait for her. And they do.[return to text]

32So I had some very clear goals at the end of this fic. I wanted to make it clear that while, yes, Elsa and Kristoff were going to stay, they weren't going to stay FOREVER just because Anna told them she missed them. I wanted to make it clear that they respect their own lives enough at this point to want to maintain their new boundaries and relationships, and that the onus IS on Anna to make her peace with that fact. But here's where my new determination to really say and unpack what I mean started bumping up against contrived didacticism, because this fic ended with the characters saying what I just said, verbatim, until Leah pointed out that NO ONE in this universe is smart or emotionally perceptive enough for that kind of tidy summation. At a certain point you do have to let the ambiguities be, and live with the fact that the chance of someone horribly misinterpreting your thematic bent will ALWAYS be there. I like this new version a lot more, even if it feels less conclusive, because it's fairer on the characters: Anna will be struggling with insecurity and abandonment for a good, long time, and just admitting that she feels this way is just one step among many. Love isn't a lesson you learn once and immediately master.[return to text]


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